THE SUN IS HERE

internally shifting, i see liberation's light.

the bear was a bear after all, not an extraterrestrial being enduring relentless draughts on an eternally wintering planet, jet fuel frozen solid interplanetary connections severed. the hibernightmare is over, im going to be okay.

i took what was mine and left the rest to shrivel and die without sucking any more of my blood. i am free, the next step is to be me. recalibrate to live from the inside out, i want to witness the beauty of my change. or maybe it was always there.

deliberately living a life aligned with the mind successful regardless of its standing is the major pursuit of my life. i hope i remember that, i wonder if it will transcend time.

stop polishing a ball of dirt. embrace your messy individuality, unlearn the straight lines, leave them for papers. within reason.

grim but important reminders to live for yourself. catch yourself distorting or contriving, you have lost sight of meaning. there seems to be a physical barrier but all you seek on the outside exists within really.

the bridge is the destination. the point is not to reach the summit, but to walk the trail. the sooner you learn enjoy it the easier it is for your legs to carry you. also, its not to walk without fear, but to look fear in the eyes and walk anyway.

and i continue, or to me begun, to seek fellow navigators of this murky sea that is life, each with a unique piece of the map to exchange. and hopefully one or two lasting connections amidst the transient, but that is contingent.

but more importantly, i seek to start using my senses more, see what truly surrounds me, to rely on my touch, smell, and vision to guide me through the world more often. you live thinking, you forget to live. that, i believe, is my greatest fault.

the mind body gap remains, and the bear might have another hibernightmare, even twenty, but in this hurricane that is the everythingness and everywherity of life, its most important to make sure your boots are firmly planted in the ground. everything follows.

these feelings, too, are fleeting. i will be back soon. samsara.